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Music For Pleasure, MFP; the three letters that perhaps best denote the bringing together of all things both 'cheap' and at the same time 'nasty'. Whether we like it or not, every man-jack of us has got at least one MFP album tucked away. A scatter-gun approach of releases to make grandma giddy and keep the kiddies quiet at one and the same time: MFP had it all. Hundreds of albums released over the best part of 20 years. Check out your own collection...hmm, that Pink Floyd 'Relics' Reissue, that's an MFP...your old faithful Monkees 'Best Of'...that's an MFP too...all those 'Hot Hits' '70's compilation albums, the poor mans' 'Top Of The Pops', that are often gazed at but seldom spun, you know what I'm sayin'...even the Pinky & Perky album that your auntie gave you when you were nowt but a nipper...yep, you guessed it...MFP !

So what's the story with MFP then? What we know is that once again, in the style of the day, every massive major label had a little offshoot dedicated to the budget reissue of it's own back catalogue drawn from all corners of the murky world of pop, and MFP did the nasty for EMI. At its inception in 1965 the Music For Pleasure record club operated out of the wonderfully named Astronaut House in Middlesex, formed as a joint venture with the massive Hamlyn publishing house. The company caused a mighty media stir by simultaneously releasing 78 (count 'em) different LP's with the bargain price tag of 12s. 6d. (that's 62½ new pence to me, and quite probably doesn't mean a deal to our friends in the Colonies). Normally in those days the damage for your vinyl addition would be a shocking 32s. That's about £1.50 in real money, so it's sad to see that that most of these precious items haven't really held their value...

By all accounts things were fairly chaotic at Astronaut House in the early days, with neither EMI nor Hamlyn shouldering the responsibilities for such trifles as royalty payments, with each thinking that the other was handling things. Despite all of this many, many LP's made it out to the shops and MFP ticked over nicely as a loss leader, the baked beans of the record industry, if you will. Something strange happened around 1973 when a parallel series of MFP releases appeared under the 'Sounds Superb' banner. As the normal shit was still being shoveled out on the usual plain old MFP imprint, I can't really think of any reason why this happened apart from Hamlyn pulling out of the deal, and let's be honest, it didn't really fool anyone. It was still cheap and nasty rubbish. On the torture went throughout the 70's, but as with a lot of other medium sized labels operating under the wings of large companies around the turn of the '80's, poor old MFP started to run into choppy waters as the major companies rationalised, merged and generally destroyed their own industry in their efforts to generate cold hard cash to pour into the bottomless and Godless pit that was called compact disc technology. Thanks for that, we don't think. As far as we can tell MFP turned into little more than a distribution network, albeit one that spanned the globe. Nowadays the only evidence of MFP is to be found in South Africa, where it is the merchandiser of all things for the modern audio/video age except the vinyl it was famed for. EMI were bought out by their partners the Gallo Group in 1999, and so at least the name and the logo survive to this day, if not the spirit.

So, why on earth is any living soul still bothered about such a terrible label ? Well, as with other greats like the majestic Contour, MFP managed to knock out its own original releases to mix in with the reissues that dominated its schedule. Way too much utter rubbish to mention here, and featuring the usual culprits too; Harry Secombe, Shirley Bassey, The Spinners. Why oh why? But yet again, if you look hard enough amongst the grooves then some great moments do crop up. As always we are here to guide you through this particular minefield.

What we have here then are the highs and the lows of our own personal MFP stash. We have put ourselves at great personal risk to enlighten you, dear surfer, as to the giddy mood-swings that are contained in as many MFP platters as we have knocking around. Like the little girl with the little curl, these beauties are often very, very good, but when they are bad they are horrid ! What MFP teaches us is that when collecting Cheesy albums, a world of pleasure can very often also be a world of pain...

 Come feel the pleasure and taste the pain with us...

Various Artists 'Music of Mystery, Mayhem & Murder' (MFP 1254)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

A pretty rank version of 'Peter Gunn' is about as low as we get. Complete with those popular-at-the-time 'siren of the sea' backing vocals. Put a sock in it, you terrible woman...
Well, to be honest, it's all pretty lame stuff here really. A decent trot at John Barry's '007' is just about serviceable though.
The Torero Band 'Tijuana Christmas' (MFP 1265)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

'Away in a Manger' will bring even the Scrooge-like out in tears as it over-eggs the Xmas pud with sentiment. Humbug!!
Surprisingly, there are a few quite perky numbers to be found here, amongst them being a cheeky 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen', parped up to the max in anything but a Yuletide manner.
Jimmy Smith 'The Incredible...' (MFP 1292)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

As a rule this LP measures up well to the rest of his 60's output, but the tame meanderings on 'Mack the Knife' spend a long time going nowhere...still, can't complain too much.
Smith's never-fail assault on 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?' seldom dissapoints, and this album does not prove to be the exception.
The Indo-British Ensemble 'Curried Jazz' (MFP 1307)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

No dross here! If you are at all partial to a bit of flute & sitar all mixed up then there is not a dull moment for you on this one...just lay back and enjoy!
All of the four tracks on this LP are winners in their own sweet way, but perhaps 'Yaman (the Colonel's Wife)' provides the most solid groove from this sublime mix.
George Blackmore 'Television & Radio Themes' (MFP 1311)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Oh dear...pence down the drain...some old duffer at the Wurlitzer organ in a flea pit trying vainly to recapture times when you could have cod & chips twice, a tram ride into town, 6 pints of cookin' and still have change from sixpence...just awful!
The only curiosity is a lame-ass bash at 60's kiddies show 'Bewitched', but its still a right load of old tripe! DO NOT be tempted!!!
The Torero Band 'Lennon & McCartney Tijuana Style' (MFP 1318)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

What the hell is going on here ? A really murderous take on 'Yellow Submarine' hits the jackpot. Military drums gun down what was only the bare bones of a tune to begin with. No prisoners taken.
This record is in every Goddamn charity shop in the country, so part with your 50p and enjoy the totally definitive 'Can't Buy Me Love'. You'll piss your pants laughing it's so bloody great. I'll wager that its Ray Davis on that Funky Trumpet too. Get yourself one, it's a great party album
The Jason Ryder Sound 'Music From The Sensational Hair'            (MFP 1329)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Sounds like they got Eddie Calvert to guest on 'Good Morning Starshine'...Parp, parp again, and a good old parp for luck !
Nice groovy version of the seldom heard 'Coloured Spade' just about makes this worthwhile...Only just, mind.
'Big Hits' (MFP 1330)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

This is surprisingly a cut above yer average session-men rip-off LP, with some quality versions of some hits of equal merit. However, 'Born to live & born to die' proves that everything the pop garden of the late 60's was not rosey
Top of the heap is an authentic stab at 'Am I the same girl'-nice and brassy!
'Hits Again' (MFP 1351)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

It's time to gather round the scout campfire for a quick rendition of the Scaffold's 'Gin Gan Goolie'...ooof. Don't burn your woggle!
A nicely skankin' take of 'Return of Django' is ample reward for the outlay of pence, although it doesn't really sound as if this version emanated from Black Ark Studios.
'The Wonderful World of Reggae' (MFP 1355)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Whoever it is doing the Millie impression on 'My Boy Lollipop' sounds like they are being throttled...just deserts probably.
The pick of the original tunes included to bulk this affair out, and generally coming off better than the covers, 'The Persuader' is a Mohawks style Hammond stomper that is bound to get you going.
Duncan Lamont 'Best of the Bossa Novas' (MFP 1357)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

This whole affair is pretty down-tempo and dull, but 'The Shadow of Your Smile' takes the biscuit...zzzzzzz.
The breezy bossa of 'Call Me' rarely dissapoints too badly, but like the rest of this one, its really not a great deal to write home about.
The Tequila Brass 'Tamla Meets Tijuana' (MFP 1381)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Aw Christ...'Dancing in the Street' is shockingly offensive to the ears! Prevent exposure to small children and animals!
Being the only track where the relentless parpmongery gives way to some slick bass and Hammond, 'I've Passed This Way Before' rises way above all else on offer...quite a go-er really!
The Torero Band 'Viva Tijuana' (MFP 1394)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Will this torture never end? Exactly how many Tijuana-styled LP's can any man want? The dreadfully ill-advised Chas 'n' Dave meets Herb Alpert mockney knees-up of 'Milord' is reason enough for all concerned to be up before the beak.
Just about the only saving grace on offer here is the bash at 'These Boots Were Made For Walking', but the crimes on show elsewhere need more atonement than this one track can provide...
Bob Downes 'Deep Down Heavy' (MFP 1412)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

'Too Late' could be a classic case of letting the tape roll while the sound man goes and has a jimmy; that 'empty toilet' sound quality, coupled with a very lumpy jam means this just about puts you off the rest of what is ultimately a rather nice LP.
The sweaty R&B groove of 'Don't Let Tomorrow Get You Down' is well worth the entrance money...
'Screen Trip Seventies' (MFP 1418)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

What must have been the theme to The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, 'Jean' is anything but la creme de la creme now gels...
Ennio Morricone's 'The Italian Theme' is a little cracker! Straight out of the top drawer of those cheesy euro film themes-all slick bass, strings and choppy guitar...lovely!

Alan Moorhouse 'Beatles, Bach & Bacharach Go Bossa' (MFP 5206)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Oh dear...'Air On A G String'...the mild cigar from Benson & Hedges, indeed. Advertisers have a lot to answer for. Stinks the place up rotten.
We stand by the jaunty little bossa version of 'Fool On The Hill'. Some silky saxes on show and a decent little break down. It tries it's best to get there...
The Hollyridge Strings 'Instrumentals from the Beatles Songbook' (MFP 5247)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

There is soooo much offal to chose from on this horrible LP, but a string-overload version of 'Yellow Submarine' is always going to push things just over the edge...
Perhaps the only moment of merit on this entire album is when a little bit of organ gets a fighting chance amongst the dripping strings on 'Hard Day's Night'...
Lulu 'The Most Of Lulu Vol. 2' (MFP 5254)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Lorks-a-lordy ! The gruesome 'My Ain Folk' sung with the Scottish accent laid on with a trowel...Very ill-advised
'Show Me' is a cracking beaty club tune full of groove and fuzz. Never knew she had it in her!
'Hot Hits 10' (MFP 5260)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Oh mercy me...never mind hamming it up, 'Without You' gets the full pork butchers!!
Starting the LP off with an expansive, phased drum break, perennial beatmine 'Jesus' is the reason why some shops will have you pay dearly for this one. It gets the treatment...and, well, its pretty lame as per usual, so skip a couple of tracks and remember why David Cassidy was a star in his day with 'Storm in a Tea Cup' and find something actually enjoyable to listen to.

Alan Moorhouse 'And His Bond Street Brigade' (MFP 5268)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Hells' teeth ! 'Liberty Bell', the Monty Python theme... NO NEEEEEEEED !
Moorhouse's own 'Funky Fever' is a killer. No doubt. How did it sneak in here? Wah guitar, sax, flute...a pearl among swine.

Geoff Love & His Orchestra 'Your Top TV Themes' (MFP 5272)

No Pain, No Gain

The Principle Pleasures

Ohmygawd...The maestro Love serves up one of his own stillborn. The nauseating 'Bless This House'. All jaunty tubas and harpsichord. Pure evil. As a youngster I was strangely hypnotized by Sid James' screen daughter in this-let's face it-bloody awful sitcom. I still can't let this one pass though.
'The Jason King Theme' is well tasty. More than a little bit influential in the creation of Austin Powers methinks. Easy, baby!
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