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Music For Pleasure, MFP; the three
letters that perhaps best denote the bringing together of all things both
'cheap' and at the same time 'nasty'. Whether we like it or not, every man-jack
of us has got at least one MFP album tucked away. A scatter-gun approach of
releases to make grandma giddy and keep the kiddies quiet at one and the same
time: MFP had it all. Hundreds of albums released over the best part of 20
years. Check out your own collection...hmm, that Pink Floyd 'Relics' Reissue,
that's an MFP...your old faithful Monkees 'Best Of'...that's an MFP too...all
those 'Hot Hits' '70's compilation albums, the poor mans' 'Top Of The Pops',
that are often gazed at but seldom spun, you know what I'm sayin'...even the
Pinky & Perky album that your auntie gave you when you were nowt but a
nipper...yep, you guessed it...MFP !
So what's the story with MFP then? What
we know is that once again, in the style of the day, every massive major
label had a little offshoot dedicated to the budget reissue of it's
own back catalogue drawn from all corners of the murky world of pop,
and MFP did the nasty for EMI. At its inception in 1965 the Music For
Pleasure record club operated out of the wonderfully named Astronaut
House in Middlesex, formed as a joint venture with the massive Hamlyn
publishing house. The company caused a mighty media stir by simultaneously
releasing 78 (count 'em) different LP's with the bargain price tag of
12s. 6d. (that's 62½ new pence to me, and quite probably doesn't mean
a deal to our friends in the Colonies). Normally in those days the damage
for your vinyl addition would be a shocking 32s. That's about £1.50
in real money, so it's sad to see that that most of these precious items
haven't really held their value...
By all accounts things were fairly chaotic at
Astronaut House in the early days, with neither EMI nor Hamlyn shouldering the
responsibilities for such trifles as royalty payments, with each thinking that
the other was handling things. Despite all of this many, many LP's made it out
to the shops and MFP ticked over nicely as a loss leader, the baked beans of the
record industry, if you will. Something strange happened around 1973 when a
parallel series of MFP releases appeared under the 'Sounds Superb' banner. As
the normal shit was still being shoveled out on the usual plain old MFP imprint,
I can't really think of any reason why this happened apart from Hamlyn pulling
out of the deal, and let's be honest, it didn't really fool anyone. It was still
cheap and nasty rubbish. On the torture went throughout the 70's, but as with a
lot of other medium sized labels operating under the wings of large companies
around the turn of the '80's, poor old MFP started to run into choppy waters as
the major companies rationalised, merged and generally destroyed their own
industry in their efforts to generate cold hard cash to pour into the bottomless
and Godless pit that was called compact disc technology. Thanks for that, we
don't think. As far as we can tell MFP turned into little more than a
distribution network, albeit one that spanned the globe. Nowadays the only
evidence of MFP is to be found in South Africa, where it is the merchandiser of
all things for the modern audio/video age except the vinyl it was famed for. EMI
were bought out by their partners the Gallo Group in 1999, and so at least the
name and the logo survive to this day, if not the spirit.
So, why on earth is any living soul still
bothered about such a terrible label ? Well, as with other greats like the
majestic Contour, MFP managed to knock out its own original releases to mix in
with the reissues that dominated its schedule. Way too much utter rubbish to
mention here, and featuring the usual culprits too; Harry Secombe, Shirley
Bassey, The Spinners. Why oh why? But yet again, if you look hard enough amongst
the grooves then some great moments do crop up. As always we are here to guide
you through this particular minefield.
What we have here then are the highs and the lows
of our own personal MFP stash. We have put ourselves at great personal risk to
enlighten you, dear surfer, as to the giddy mood-swings that are contained in as
many MFP platters as we have knocking around. Like the little girl with the
little curl, these beauties are often very, very good, but when they are bad
they are horrid ! What MFP teaches us is that when collecting Cheesy albums, a
world of pleasure can very often also be a world of pain...
Come
feel the pleasure and taste the pain with us...
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| Various Artists 'Music
of Mystery, Mayhem & Murder' (MFP
1254) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
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The
Principle Pleasures
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A pretty rank version
of 'Peter Gunn' is about as low as we get. Complete with those
popular-at-the-time 'siren of the sea' backing vocals. Put a
sock in it, you terrible woman...
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Well, to be honest,
it's all pretty lame stuff here really. A decent trot at John
Barry's '007' is just about serviceable though.
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| The Torero Band 'Tijuana
Christmas' (MFP 1265) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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'Away in a Manger'
will bring even the Scrooge-like out in tears as it over-eggs
the Xmas pud with sentiment. Humbug!!
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Surprisingly, there
are a few quite perky numbers to be found here, amongst them
being a cheeky 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen', parped up to the
max in anything but a Yuletide manner.
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| Jimmy Smith 'The
Incredible...' (MFP 1292) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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As a rule this
LP measures up well to the rest of his 60's output, but the
tame meanderings on 'Mack the Knife' spend a long time going
nowhere...still, can't complain too much.
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Smith's never-fail
assault on 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?' seldom dissapoints,
and this album does not prove to be the exception.
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| The Indo-British Ensemble
'Curried Jazz' (MFP
1307) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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No dross here!
If you are at all partial to a bit of flute & sitar all
mixed up then there is not a dull moment for you on this one...just
lay back and enjoy!
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All of the four
tracks on this LP are winners in their own sweet way, but perhaps
'Yaman (the Colonel's Wife)' provides the most solid groove
from this sublime mix.
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| George Blackmore 'Television
& Radio Themes' (MFP 1311) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Oh dear...pence
down the drain...some old duffer at the Wurlitzer organ in a
flea pit trying vainly to recapture times when you could have
cod & chips twice, a tram ride into town, 6 pints of cookin'
and still have change from sixpence...just awful!
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The only curiosity
is a lame-ass bash at 60's kiddies show 'Bewitched', but its
still a right load of old tripe! DO NOT be tempted!!!
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The Torero Band
'Lennon & McCartney Tijuana Style' (MFP 1318)
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No
Pain, No Gain
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The
Principle Pleasures
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What the hell is
going on here ? A really murderous take on 'Yellow Submarine'
hits the jackpot. Military drums gun down what was only the
bare bones of a tune to begin with. No prisoners taken.
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This record is
in every Goddamn charity shop in the country, so part with your
50p and enjoy the totally definitive 'Can't Buy Me Love'. You'll
piss your pants laughing it's so bloody great. I'll wager that
its Ray Davis on that Funky Trumpet too. Get yourself one, it's
a great party album
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| The Jason Ryder Sound 'Music From
The Sensational Hair'
(MFP 1329) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Sounds like they
got Eddie Calvert to guest on 'Good Morning Starshine'...Parp,
parp again, and a good old parp for luck !
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Nice groovy version
of the seldom heard 'Coloured Spade' just about makes this worthwhile...Only
just, mind.
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| 'Big Hits' (MFP
1330) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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This is surprisingly
a cut above yer average session-men rip-off LP, with some quality
versions of some hits of equal merit. However, 'Born to live
& born to die' proves that everything the pop garden of
the late 60's was not rosey
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Top of the heap
is an authentic stab at 'Am I the same girl'-nice and brassy!
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| 'Hits Again' (MFP
1351) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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It's time to gather
round the scout campfire for a quick rendition of the Scaffold's
'Gin Gan Goolie'...ooof. Don't burn your woggle!
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A nicely skankin'
take of 'Return of Django' is ample reward for the outlay of
pence, although it doesn't really sound as if this version emanated
from Black Ark Studios.
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| 'The Wonderful World of Reggae'
(MFP 1355) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Whoever it is doing
the Millie impression on 'My Boy Lollipop' sounds like they
are being throttled...just deserts probably.
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The pick of the
original tunes included to bulk this affair out, and generally
coming off better than the covers, 'The Persuader' is a Mohawks
style Hammond stomper that is bound to get you going.
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| Duncan Lamont 'Best
of the Bossa Novas' (MFP 1357) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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This whole affair
is pretty down-tempo and dull, but 'The Shadow of Your Smile'
takes the biscuit...zzzzzzz.
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The breezy bossa
of 'Call Me' rarely dissapoints too badly, but like the rest
of this one, its really not a great deal to write home about.
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| The Tequila Brass 'Tamla
Meets Tijuana' (MFP 1381) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Aw Christ...'Dancing
in the Street' is shockingly offensive to the ears! Prevent
exposure to small children and animals!
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Being the only
track where the relentless parpmongery gives way to some slick
bass and Hammond, 'I've Passed This Way Before' rises way above
all else on offer...quite a go-er really!
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The Torero Band
'Viva Tijuana' (MFP 1394)
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Will this torture
never end? Exactly how many Tijuana-styled LP's can any man
want? The dreadfully ill-advised Chas 'n' Dave meets Herb Alpert
mockney knees-up of 'Milord' is reason enough for all concerned
to be up before the beak.
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Just about the
only saving grace on offer here is the bash at 'These Boots
Were Made For Walking', but the crimes on show elsewhere need
more atonement than this one track can provide...
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| Bob Downes 'Deep Down Heavy'
(MFP 1412) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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'Too Late' could
be a classic case of letting the tape roll while the sound man
goes and has a jimmy; that 'empty toilet' sound quality, coupled
with a very lumpy jam means this just about puts you off the
rest of what is ultimately a rather nice LP.
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The sweaty R&B
groove of 'Don't Let Tomorrow Get You Down' is well worth the
entrance money...
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| 'Screen Trip Seventies'
(MFP 1418) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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What must have
been the theme to The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, 'Jean' is anything
but la creme de la creme now gels...
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Ennio Morricone's
'The Italian Theme' is a little cracker! Straight out of the
top drawer of those cheesy euro film themes-all slick bass,
strings and choppy guitar...lovely!
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Alan Moorhouse
'Beatles, Bach & Bacharach
Go Bossa' (MFP 5206)
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Oh dear...'Air
On A G String'...the mild cigar from Benson & Hedges, indeed.
Advertisers have a lot to answer for. Stinks the place up rotten.
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We stand by the
jaunty little bossa version of 'Fool On The Hill'. Some silky
saxes on show and a decent little break down. It tries it's
best to get there...
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| The Hollyridge Strings 'Instrumentals
from the Beatles Songbook' (MFP
5247) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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There is soooo
much offal to chose from on this horrible LP, but a string-overload
version of 'Yellow Submarine' is always going to push things
just over the edge...
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Perhaps the only
moment of merit on this entire album is when a little bit of
organ gets a fighting chance amongst the dripping strings on
'Hard Day's Night'...
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| Lulu 'The Most Of Lulu Vol. 2'
(MFP 5254) |
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No
Pain, No Gain
|
The
Principle Pleasures
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Lorks-a-lordy !
The gruesome 'My Ain Folk' sung with the Scottish accent laid
on with a trowel...Very ill-advised
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'Show Me' is a cracking
beaty club tune full of groove and fuzz. Never knew she had
it in her!
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